Why Empaths are Hard to Read ...

    "A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

    To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise,

    a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy,

    a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.

    Add to this cruelly delicate organism

    the overpowering necessity to create, create, create —

    so that without the creating of music

    or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning,

    his very breath is cut off from him.

    He must create, must pour out creation.

    By some strange, unknown, inward urgency

    he is not really alive unless he is creating."

    (Pearl S. Buck)

Today I packed up my boys and headed to my friends’ house.  The boys were excited to play with her sweet girls and I was excited to talk with my friend.  Girl talk.  Mom to mom, woman to woman, empath to empath.  The kiddos all took off to harvest fresh basil, make potions, control the weather with their wands and pretend they were wizards with amazing powers.

As I sat with my friend, I felt her energy, connected with her spirit and was ready to chat.  Little did I know that this chat would be a soul soaring lesson for me.

We were talking about things empaths talk about (energy drains, how to protect your feelings, creative pursuits, the world, peace, disconnect, music, love, loss.)  Eventually our conversation turned to the tarot and guides/energy.  I had often wondered why I was such a hard read.  Very few “psychics” have ever been able to read me.  As much as I try to open myself up and pray before hand, they rarely connect with my energy.  I was assuming that because I am an empath, that meant I was easily readable.  Ha!  My friend spoke and flipped a switch on for me. 

Yep, I had a revelation today, a light bulb moment if you will.   

She said that because I’m an empath, they can NOT connect with me because I am always picking up bits and pieces of everyone else’s energy and it gets mixed up and swirled around and spit out.  I am always carrying around all of this extra energy with me and heck, it’s hard for ME to discern what is mine and what is everyone else’s.  You’d have to be a VERY gifted psychic to read me.

Wow.

That truly made SO much sense to me and gave me such comfort.  The knowing fell right into place.  Did I mention that my friend is not only a fellow empath, she is intuitive and smart as heck!  You can follow her amazing blog here:

Unspoken Love

We talked about how taking time away from high energy people is important to realign your own energy.  Much like the advice we often hear about taking care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others.  Which, as an empath, that’s usually what makes us feel fulfilled, taking care of others.

We chatted about how when you are an empath, you pick up on energy the same way other people breathe.  It just happens.  You can’t help it.  Of course that also means you can feel peoples’ intent.  Sometimes their intent is kind and comes from a place of love.  Other times, the intent is not so nice and comes from a place of jealousy or something darker.  That is the worst thing about being an empath.  Whether it’s a post on Facebook, an email, a text or a spoken word, an empath feels the intent.  And when it’s meant cruelly, that burns to the core.

Empaths, for whatever reason, are celebrated when they’re “on” and pushed away when they’ve finally been drained.  They are everyone’s friend when they’re happy and able to connect and give love and great energy.  But they are often cast aside when they are drained, unhappy and struggling with their own life’s issues.

"Everybody loves you when you're easy. Everybody hates when you're a bore. Everyone is waiting for your entrance. So don't disappoint them."  Sarah Mclachlan from her song Black and White.

And that is when we burn out.  Here are some signs that you (as an empath) are burning out:

• Are you able to communicate effectively and able to explain your point of view without being worried about being attacked?  Are you still able to show compassion while staying detached enough that you don’t completely take on others’ energy?

• Are you constantly being drawn in to other people’s drama? Have you become a dumping ground for other people’s stress and bad energy?

• We often feel that it’s truly our life’s purpose to play the part of the counselor. It’s what fulfills us.  Are you able to do that without feeling drained?

• Do you worry about and for everyone?  Does worrying about other people literally make you sick?  (Nauseous, stiff neck muscles, stomach pain, etc?)

• Do you find yourself staying away from groups of people?

• Can you walk into a room and not feel overwhelmed by the energy?

If you recognize those things in your life, chances are you are burnt out.  It’s time to build your energy and put up those psychic shields.

Start with meditation and visualization which are very important for empaths.  While sitting in a chair, feet flat on the floor, imagine yourself surrounded by the white light of God.  Your crown chakra protected by this white light.  The white light travels through your body with perfect protective intent.  No negativity can permeate this loving white light.  Feel the warm white light of God gently cleansing your soul of all negativity.  See your aura becoming stronger, brighter and more colorful.  Let your inner light shine bright and know that it is surrounded and protected by God’s white loving light.

You can also use rose quartz crystals.  They absorb negative energy and only allow positive energy through.  Whether you wear them, meditate while holding them or keep them next to your bed, they are very useful in drawing out the negative and protecting the positive.

Another technique is to use the “heart mirror.”  When you are communicating with others, picture your heart as a mirror that is reflecting back to them, positive authentic love surrounded by white light.

Remember, as much as you are comfortable in feeling other people’s emotions as second nature, YOUR feelings matter just as much.  You must express how you feel as well.  You must be honest.  Your feelings are non-negotiable, no matter how controlling another person might want to be, or think they can be.

If you constantly feel negative intent from a person (even when putting positive intent towards what you want to happen) they are obviously not worthy of your time and energy.  It is up to you how often you feel the intent before moving on. 

Eventually, protecting yourself from taking on others’ energy will become second nature, or at least I’m told.  (I’m admittedly a work in progress.)

My hope is that I can still feel the compassion and love I feel on the level I feel it without drawing out other peoples’ emotions and energy and carrying it around with me.  No wonder I’m tired all the time!  No wonder this silly empath can’t get a good reading!

I have lots of homework to do and am excited to start practicing what I preach.  In the meantime, I will always continue to Choose Love. 

And I pray you will too.