The "Love Place"

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re alive. – Orlando Battista

Sometimes I wonder why it’s so hard for people (myself included at times) to let go and just, love.  Why do we let our egos get in the way?  What stops us from being the bigger person, reaching out, loving?

It's been said that when you are truly balanced and at one with God/Spirit/One, you are at the place between thought and ego.  That place is love.

When you are in the “love place” it’s easier to love yourself and others.  It’s easy for you to express that love, that part of you that is pure soul.  Your ego isn’t allowed to enter that space; therefore, nothing stops you from sharing that authentic part of yourself.  Your true self. 

Ego is everywhere.  It’s that little voice that tells you that you’re always right.  It’s that hurt that you feel when you feel you’ve been wronged.  It’s that place you go to when you feel that you’ve been victimized.  It’s in the walls we build, the space we create and the distances we place between us and those around us.

To go to the “loving place,” close your eyes.  Focus on what you are thinking.  What are your thoughts?  Now focus on what you are feeling.  Are you happy?  Sad?  Frightened?  Hurt?  Angry?  Finally,  focus on that space in between.  There is a space between thought and feeling that is the core of who you are.

That is the real you.  That is soul.  That is connection to God/Spirit/One.  That is the "love place."

Once you’re there, peace reigns.  You are now connected to every person and living thing around you.  The trees, the animals.  You are pure love.  You are connected to the divine.  Allow yourself to remain in that space as long as you can.

Try to do this as often as you can throughout your day.

The more often you do this, the more centered you’ll be in your authentic self and the more peaceful you’ll be.

Then, you don’t even have to Choose Love.  You ARE love.

Time spent with loved ones is the most precious gift of all.

What we remember from childhood we remember forever – family, good friends, talking till dawn, laughter, eternal imagination, sharing secrets, making up games and running until we can not breathe.  The candles, the cake, the presents are only second best to the memories we make with those we love.  - Cynthia Ozick

My twin boys are turning 10 years old on Monday.  When asked what they wanted for their birthday, they were very clear.  They wanted a party with their friends and a special dinner with their family.  No presents were even mentioned.  Like me, they prefer experiences, spending time with people over stuff.  Yeah, stuff is fun, nice.  But wow, the memories we create while celebrating life just can’t be beat.

Right now, it is VERY loud in my house.  My children have their cousins and their closest friends over for a slumber party.  So far they’ve had the typical birthday fare:  Chips, soda, brownies, chicken and cheese quesadillas, popcorn.  They’ve played a plethora of made up games: Chase, haunted house, dance party, crazy man, etc.  The laughter that permeates these walls also fills my heart.  My children are having the time of their life.  And really, what better birthday gift can you ask for your child then laughter?

Tomorrow they will have a party at a local laser tag/bouncy place with all their friends.  Jacob’s cake will be decorated in a Halloween theme, Noah’s with a big picture of – himself and the words HAPPY in all different colors.  Because he is, well, happy.  They both designed their own cakes.  Being twins, we try to give them the opportunity to decide separately on things that are often expected to be decided as one.  Red and blue are the colors they choose.  But most importantly, they will have their friends to run and play with.  They’ll make up games and run and bounce until they drop.  And they will go to sleep with a heart full of happiness.  Happy because their friends were there to celebrate with them.

Sunday I will make them their birthday dinner.  Both boys requested lasagna.  They want grammy and Uncle Mike and grandma and Pap over.  I’m praying that will happen.  We’ll have a nice family dinner and be grateful that we are all alive and healthy to celebrate 10 years old with these precious souls.

Monday, their actual birthday, my husband and I will take cupcakes up to their school.  They both want chocolate and thankfully it’s been approved by the teachers.  After school we’ll go out for dinner – their choice.

Yes, it’s a big birthday weekend.  They are turning double digits – that’s a big deal in our family.  They won’t get a bunch of gifts from us, but they will get lots of time, love and laughter.  And that is what they’ll carry with them through to their next birthday and beyond.

So tonight, as I sit here cracking up at the computer at all the silliness and laughter that surrounds me, I thank God.  I thank God for my rainbows, these precious souls that I am so blessed to call my sons.  Oh how hard we fought to conceive our sweethearts.  7 years of IF heartache, all erased the moment I held my beautiful sons.  I am so grateful that I get to walk through life with these amazingly compassionate, funny little guys.  Every time they reach for my hand, they touch my heart and it feels like MY birthday all over again.  I get to be a mommy!!!! 

They are wanting me to come and play hide and seek so I must go.  But before I do, my final thought is this –

Do not take for granted the time you give up spending with those you love.  Remember, things do not matter, people do.  MAKE the time to spend with people you love.  Time is the best present you can give another...

And as always, Choose Love.

When you are hurt...

When people:

• Create problems when there are none.
• Talk behind your back, rather than to your face.
• Choose self righteousness when speaking with you.
• Walk out of your life and feign victim mentality.
• Judge you without knowing you.
• Judge you once knowing you.
• Play the holier-than-thou card incessantly.
• You thought would be there, aren’t.
• Choose lies over truth.
• Are passive aggressive.
• Choose cruelness over kindness.
• Hurt you without reason (as if there is ever a reason to hurt someone.)
• Pretend like you never existed.
• Take but rarely give.

Remember:

• A friendship that ended never really began.
• Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
• Don’t stress about the people from your past. There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.
• I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.
• I have no need to conform to the stereotypes others have defined for me.
• If someone wants to be part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it.
• In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
• Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
• The soul that is within me no man can degrade.
• No person is your friend if he demands your silence or denies your right to grow.
• The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
• Being silent isn't being strong, it's being a victim.
• No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
• Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.

Live your life with forgiveness, compassion and kindness, for yourself and for others.  Choose to rise above the hurt in your heart and know that you are a good person with good intentions.  Know that you have a place in this world, a mission.  Be confident in the fact that there is a positive reason you are on this earth and that you are part of the greatest love of all, God.  Celebrate the lessons that living life with an open, innocent and adventurous heart has taught you.

Hold your head high – beautiful soul.

Choose Love always – in all ways. 

Embrace your flaws!

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one. – Chinese Proverb

flaw:  noun

1. a feature that mars the perfection of something.

I think flaws are beautiful.  When people admit to or embrace their flaws, I feel that is celebrating all that God gave us.  We aren’t perfect people and to pretend otherwise is just plain silly. So when people are flawed and embrace their imperfections, I find something truly endearing about that.

Yes, there are those people that want us to think they have perfect lives, relationships, feelings, emotions, etc.  But the reality is - nobody is perfect.  We are all flawed.  And whether those flaws are on the outside or the inside, they’re there.  Once we admit them – own them, we can learn from them.  Whether or not we admit or show them to others is a personal choice.  But wow, think of how amazing it would be if we would all show our weaker sides!  If we all let down that guard of perfection and tore down those walls that protect us and showed the world our flaws, we would all have even more in common.  And we would learn from each other!

What are we so afraid of?  I often think that those who pretend to have perfect lives, perfect beliefs, perfect looks, etc. must be so tired!  They are killing themselves to keep up this facade. Whether it’s plastic surgery, over scheduling, the disease to please, the bigger house, the nicer cars, the popular labels, the holier than thou beliefs…geez.  It must be exhausting!

Why not learn to love your scars?  Whether they’re external or internal.  Don’t worry about the people that will hold them against you.  Yes, they’re everywhere waiting to judge you to make themselves feel better.  But when you are confident in who you are, you don’t need their validation. Remember, all judgment comes from an insecurity in the person doing the judging.  You are beautiful, flaws and all.  It is your body, your life, your path – own it!      

Rock that scar!  Let yourself cry at emotional movies!  Wear those size 18 jeans proudly!  Walk the unbeaten path with pride!  Work your gray hair or bald head!  You don't have to be the perfect spouse, sibling, friend, parent, etc.  Let go of your ego and let your flaunt your "imperfections!" 

Embrace your “flaws!”  Celebrate them.  Learn from them.  When you embrace your flaws you embrace confidence that allows you to live life for the better.

If you already do this, congratulations – you’re human! 

Choose Love!

What are you Thankful for?

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?- Unknown

That quote profoundly affected me.  I can honestly say that after reading it, I have thought about this question and made an effort to change the way I think every single day.

So often we look at what we don’t have, that we forget the immense amount of treasures that we do already have. Are we grateful enough?  Do we acknowledge our gratefulness daily?  Do we thank God?  Do we thank the earth?  Our family?  Our friends?  

It only takes a moment to truly feel thankful. And it only takes another moment to express it. 

Today, I wanted to take a moment to express my thankfulness.

I am thankful for:

*God’s undeniable presence in my life.

*Jesus Christ whose nonjudgmental love and compassion I strive to live by.

*My angels that send signs and give me hope when my soul is weak.

*The beautiful souls that are my children.

*My best friend, my companion, my soul mate, my other – my husband.

*My family, both blood and chosen family.

*The friends that surround me with their love.

*All of the people that choose to be a part of my life.

*My fur babies who show me unconditional love.

*My health and the health of my family.

*Our home that shelters us and our car that safely gets us from A to B.

*Humanity and compassion. Both are God speaking.

*The Earth, the land, the waters, the mountains, the wildlife- the natural beauty of Earth.

*Love and laughter.  Both fill my soul and carry me through life.

*Living in a country where we are allowed the freedom to speak and express ourselves.

*Lessons.  I am grateful that in hard times, I can choose to learn instead of wallow.

There are so many things to be thankful for!  Those are just some of mine.

What are some of yours?  Who have you thanked today?

Choose Love

Believe when there is nothing to believe in...

Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. – Rabindranath Tagore

Cloudy are the skies of my life, though I see breaks of sunlight.  With little to give me hope, I still refuse to stop believing that all will be well and that love will return.  True love.  The kind that lasts forever.  The kind worth fighting for.

I’m trying to look towards the future and at the same time next to me.  It’s still him in the rocking chair when we’re 95 years old.  Tracing my wrinkles with his weathered hands, still thinking I am beautiful. 

My love is the undying kind, created before being born.  There is no other way to love.  When love isn’t enough, I pray.  I look towards the Heavens and see my hawk, soaring high.  God speaks.

I close my eyes and his face flashes in my mind.  The same face I’ve looked at with love every single day for 17 years.  I let myself love, forgive, hope.

It’s terrifying, to say the least, to believe in the unknown.  It is scary to put my faith in another broken soul.  But really, what else is there? 

So tonight, again, I pray…

Choose Love