Fly me up to where you are....

Of course you're going to see me again! We'll grow old together. It's going to be you and me living in a big house... these two old biddies with all these cats. I bet we even die on the same day.
~Gillian Owens (Practical Magic)

As I sit and listen to Josh Groban's hauntingly beautiful voice, I feel like I can fly.  If I close my eyes, I feel the wind and the warmth on my face.  I'm swaying, diving and dipping in between the trees.  I smell the fields of wild flowers and in front of me, the salty scent of the ocean.  I burst out of the trees and see the glittering waters dancing in the sunshine.  I hear the waves crashing against the earth and I feel ALIVE!  I AM FLYING!

Today, that is how I choose to escape.  That is how I choose love over sadness. 

I could choose to wallow and think about what was, what could have been and what was or was not meant to be.  I could choose to sit in my sadness and not let my spirit fly with the good memories and love that once was.  I could choose to never let anyone else in, to build walls that keep people out.  I could choose to let my ego control my emotions, accuse, blame.  I could choose to not put love back out into the world.

For a moment, I let myself feel sad.  Wonder why.  So many questions unanswered, reasons unexplained.  To be one person yesterday and another today.  How does that happen?   

Life is full of choices.  As I looked through the book of friendship that was given to me by someone I used to call my sister, I chose love.  We were inseparable.  We heard each others thoughts, shared each others dreams.  She was a second mom to my twin boys.  She was my sister.

Gillian Owens: I love you.

Sally Owens: I love you too, Gilly Bean.

She has since walked out of my life.  On her own path that, for whatever reason, didn't include me.  She still has a tattoo on her foot.  Pretty flowers with my sons initials entwined in them.  I know that somewhere in her heart, she still loves them.  Loves me.  I believe that even in her changed heart, she still chooses love for us even if she is unable to show it. 

So, instead of carrying resentment, hurt, blame, what if's and sadness.  I choose to fly.

I choose love.